Parallels
by Pb2Ag
Summary: A trilogy of oneshots, showing the way three completely different Nobodies respond to their conditions. Takes place after Chain of Memories and leads up to Kingdom Hearts II. Contains memories from before Kingdom Hearts. Xaldin, Demyx, and Axel.
1. A Lancer's Lament

They were lost to the darkness. VIII had just come back with news of the fates of those in Castle Oblivion. Though, Xaldin had a hunch that the Flurry of Flames' hands were not as clean as he wanted the others to think. Hell, Xaldin was quite sure that Axel was the cause of most, if not all, of the deaths that occurred.

And yet, the lancer could not summon the energy to hate him. Even as Xaldin watched Axel give his report with fake sympathy lacing his words, he couldn't bring himself to feel hate for the man. Not even anger. When lancer finally noticed the grin in Axel's eyes, his sickly acid green eyes, he could not take anymore. Rising from his seat in the meeting hall, he quickly excused himself. He knew he was going to get hell for it later, yet he didn't care. And that was what was scaring him.

He had known Ienzo. He had known Elaeus. He had grown up with Even. Yet, he couldn't feel anything for the loss of them. When had this happened?

Xaldin found himself wandering down the halls of their Castle That Never Was. In fact, he was aimlessly wandering, so very lost in his thoughts. When he had first become a Nobody, nothing had seemed different from when he was Dilan. He still felt emotions, or so he thought. Maybe Xehan- No, Xemnas' rants were correct? They were shadows of the emotions. Had he acted out of the memories of his former self and mistaken them as real? At first, Xaldin marked it to Xehanort's insanity.

But then Xaldin realized. He was very different than Dilan. They were all different.

As the lancer walked, he pasted by Xigbar. II gave a curt nod and carried on, with other matters to attend to since the meeting was over.

Xaldin had remembered, back during their apprentice days, Braig was never one to let a person go by without asking how their day had been. He had always been gruff, yet there was a single hint of brotherly love with all his actions. Where was the brotherly love now? If anything, there was always an under layer of cruelty to the man. Xigbar, unlike Braig, never had time for casual talk. After he became a Nobody, he didn't even have time to pester Even, one of Braig's favorite activities.

Ahh, dear Even. The now lost forever, Even. Though he was lost on that day ten years ago, anyway. As soon as his heart left him, there was no chance. No chance for all of them. Yet, Even- No, Vexen, had been the one to change the least. Back at Radiant Garden, Even avoided human contact as much as humanely possible. But every once in a while, out of pure necessity, he would socialize. As a Nobody, he never bothered with the socializing. Pride must not have been an emotion, because Vexen was filled with it. More so than Even ever was.

It had been ten years since that day. The day where they all plunged into darkness, giving their very hearts to science, or so they thought. Instead, they ended as shells of who they once were. And they found themselves craving the very thing they had so willingly given up. They had not become heroes, finding the cures to all the world's ailments. They had become these… corpses. Without hearts for emotion. Acting, clinging, crying over memories that never would be theirs again. Was that why they have always so eagerly devoured Xemnas words of faux hope? Of hearts? Of Kingdom Hearts?

Kingdom Hearts was not going to work. He was pretty sure every Nobody with a half a brain knew this. Yet, they still clung to the fake hope. What other choice did they have? This state of nonexistence ate away at one's sanity if they had nothing to hope for, he supposed. He had remembered talking to Zexion about this before he left for Oblivion. He agreed with Xaldin about the futility of Kingdom Hearts.

Zexion… Ienzo. When Ienzo had first joined their makeshift family, he had only been a boy. A small boy, wailing for his mother. He was the youngest of all the apprentices. Almost like the baby. Almost. He had always been smarter than all the rest of them. Dilan might have been jealous, but Ienzo never bragged. He simply sat, read, absorbed, and shared. In classes, he had always been the most excited about learning a new subject. He would set to tasks with such vigor and life, Xaldin was surprised he hadn't noticed until now that it was gone. As Zexion, he would simply have someone else do his work for him as he invented countless stratagems. Ienzo would never have been the type to scheme. And yet, his title in the Organization was the "Cloaked Schemer."

Xaldin found himself on the pathway to Lexaeus' vegetable garden. Strange. A man who couldn't show emotions to others had a garden. Somehow he had found a way to cultivate vegetables that grew without light. But they had to be watered constantly. The lancer assumed that they must have all died by now, gone to the grave with their caretaker.

Memories of Elaeus came rushing to Xaldin in a blur of motion. They had always jokingly called him a "Mother Hen." And still, Elaeus was a Mother Hen to all of them. Braig had once told Dilan that he had always supposed that the man had come from a very large family. He must have been one of the oldest, always looking after the others. If the slightest thing was wrong with any of his new "siblings", Elaeus would sense it and offer his comfort. But it was never with words. It was more of him lending his quiet strength to warm and heal. Yet, as soon as they became Nobodies, Xaldin could tell that Lexaeus was different. His strength was no longer warm. It was cold, isolated. He would not offer comfort. Even when they had first started finding the Neophytes, sobbing and scared as they were, there was no comfort to be had. A simple stoic stare from the large man. Nothing more, nothing less.

Stepping into the garden, Lexaeus' haven from his own nonexistence, Xaldin had expected to find it in rotting ruins. Instead, what the lancer found surprised him.

Demyx, sitar out and eyes closed, sitting in the middle of the garden, watering the vegetables.

A euphoric expression graced the man-No, just a boy's, face. A slow, melodic waltz was coming from his instrument, commanding the water to dance into the ground. Xaldin could do nothing but watch. This boy, this Neophyte, had everything they lacked. Everything they strived for. Everything they begged any heavenly figure who just might be listening for. This boy had a heart. Or was it the strong memory of one? The memory the musician refused to let go. Because he still had hope.

Hope. They all had some small fraction of hope. But it was diluted with doubt. Only Demyx seemed the one to have pure, unadulterated hope when gazing at Kingdom Hearts. Maybe that's what Xaldin lacked? Was that why he couldn't feel anything for his fallen friends?

After what seemed an eternity, the water mage opened his eyes and glanced up. Instantly the music came to a halt as he hastily pulled himself from his sitting position in the now damp ground.

"Uh, um, Number III, sir," the young boy stammered nervously, "I was…. Umm. Just… I was…"

"It's alright, IX. I saw," Xaldin interrupted before the Neophyte could truly get worked up. But something was bothering the lancer. What was the point? He could only form all his scattered thoughts into one question for the boy.

"But why?"

The sitarist looked surprised. "Why…?" he questioned, his voice almost a whisper. He seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment as he glanced towards the ground.

Suddenly, his eyes narrowed quickly as he jerked his head up. He looked Xaldin directly in the eyes. A challenge to the higher ranking Nobody.

"Why?" he asked more confidently, "Because it seemed to mean so much to Lexaeus. He put his very _heart_ into it. When he left, I didn't want all his work to be for nothing. So, I've been taking care of it." He stood confident before Xaldin.

Demyx was the one who always protested that the Nobodies really did have hearts. Maybe this was another form convincing himself he was right. Or giving himself the pure hope. But he seemed so sure of himself. He knew he was right. He could _feel_ he was right.

"But, he's gone." Xaldin's reply sounded weak, even in his own ears.

"So?" the boy responded calmly, "You could say it's my way of honoring the man."

- - -

On the day of his fading, Xaldin understood the truth.

"What do you guys really want?!"

"Kingdom Hearts. When Kingdom Hearts is ours, we can exist fully and completely."

Xaldin wasn't thinking of himself or any of the Originals. He knew they could never exist fully and completely again. They had been too weakened by their doubt. They were too unpure for hearts.

When the keyblade master came at him with the fury of a demon, Xaldin fought back with all the desperation he had within his nonexistence. He poured his very essence into his spears. Though, he discovered near the end… He wasn't even fighting for himself.

As he felt himself fading, his dying cry echoing in his ears, he wondered if the musician would do anything to honor him.


	2. No Hope for Tomorrow

The first thing the newly nonexistent boy saw as he opened his eyes was a blood red moon, shining all it's glorious horror down upon him.

He closed his eyes and waited for tomorrow.

- - -

He had been with the Organization for a short time now. That crimson moon still haunted his nightmares. It was a foreshadowing.

The second youngest member (Only to Zexion) of the newly forming Organization had taken to music like a fish had taken to water. And yet, none of the others were impressed.

"How did you lose your heart?" They would ask when he tried to play for them. He didn't know.

"How do you fight?" They would ask. He didn't know.

"Are you useful in the least?" They would ask. He didn't know.

"How do you feel about being incomplete?" They would ask. He still didn't know.

He simply closed his eyes and prayed that they would stop asking about his lost heart. Maybe tomorrow the haunting ache in his chest would go away. It was a lie. He still had his heart.

_Tomorrow_, he would wake up and be normal again.

- - -

The oddest thing had happened. After placing a few flowers for Marluxia in the scattered pots around the castle, he had gone to Lexaeus' garden to water the vegetables.

While he was sitting in the midst of the mud and water, he realized he was being watched. Standing abruptly, he discovered number III of the Organization. Such a high ranking member had never talked to him, let alone watched him.

"Uh, um, Number III, sir," the musician stammered nervously, "I was…. Umm. Just… I was…"

"It's alright, IX. I saw," the man interrupted. A flash of contemplation crossed the lancer's face, and then, what he believed to be a simple question followed.

"But why?"

Demyx was surprised. Where were the prying questions about his existence? Where were the inhumane stares? Where were the constant reminders of his own abnormalities? Glancing to the ground, a faint whisper of, "Why…?" escaped his lips as he thought. Why did he go through the trouble of continuing on things that were best left to wither? Why did he dust the library, even though Vexen would never return? Why did he smile while watching a lightning storm? Why did he buy puzzle books whenever he found them? Why? It was not a simple question.

An answer came to the boy. It was because his _heart_ was telling him to.

"Why?" He repeated, looking back to the lancer. He felt confident and strong in his answer. The thrill of believing in his heart covered the dull ache of nothingness in his chest to the point of him not even realizing it was there. He could almost feel the beating.

"Because it seemed to mean so much to Lexaeus. He put his very _heart_ into it. When he left, I didn't want all his work to be for nothing. So, I've been taking care of it." He stood confidently before number III.

The lancer looked doubtful, yet there seemed nothing he could do to argue.

"But, he's gone…" Number III's reply was weak. Demyx knew that he knew it too.

IX smiled. A victory for the heart, if you will. But knowing that his superior would be vexed for a time with the problem that the musician presented, he left him with an answer.

"You could say it's my way of honoring the man."

Xaldin seemed to digest this and excused himself. The fact that the man had questioned him proved the existence of his heart, Demyx believed. The Melodious Nocturne sighed, whispering after the lancer, "Maybe tomorrow you'll understand."

- - -

The newly forming Kingdom Hearts looked strangely like that first _ominous_ moon he saw. It seemed to scream tragedy was in the near future. He felt as if he had to warm someone.

_Tomorrow_, he would.

- - -

Demyx had received his orders.

All that was said to him was a simple, "Get rid of the Keyblade's Chosen." Then, he had been dismissed.

Wandering the streets of their Dark City, he couldn't help but think this would be the last time he would ever see it. With a sigh, he summoned a portal to leave. But a familiar voice stopped his departure.

"Demyx!" The red-head called. The musician turned to regard him.

"It's a suicide mission. You do know that, right?"

Demyx smiled, "I wouldn't be so sure. All I have to do is defeat the keyblade master, right? Doesn't sound hard. He only beat me before because I was just playing around." He waved his hand in the air, as if to illustrate the amount of effort he would need to complete his task. Axel was startled.

Grabbing IX's shoulders, he stared straight into his eyes, attempting to convey the level of worry he held for the water mage. "You are going to die. Are you crazy?"

Demyx looked away, his eyes searching the ground for a glimmer of truth. After a few moments, he looked back to the fire mage before him. A forlorn expression graced his features.

Meeting his friend's stare, he responded, "Axel… I've been crazy since the day I died. This is my only chance… _Our_ only chance." Taking Axel's hands from his shoulders, he backed up to the portal that had been waiting for him.

His façade returned, a cheery grin that shined in the city of nothing. As he was swallowed by the darkness, his voice rang out to send a final farewell to his only friend.

"Tomorrow, we'll have our hearts back for sure."

- - -

Finding the keyblade master had been easy. In fact, one might say that the keyblade master had found him. But it was not the time for technicalities. It was time for action.

_Tomorrow, _he thought bitterly as the keyblade master told him he did not have a heart.

_Tomorrow_, he thought as he summoned his instrument for the last time, the one thing that

had never let him down. The emotionless music poured forth, controlling his element to stop the powerful force before him.

_Tomorrow_, he thought as he called water from the skies to rain down their fury on the boy who stole away Roxas. Tears he could never shed.

_Tomorrow_,he thought as he felt the keyblade sink into his flesh, the spray of red reminding him of that first moon. How funny. The tragedy was his own.

_Tomorrow_, he thought, as he closed his eyes to the image of the boy who would kill him. The one who looked like someone he had once known.

_Tomorrow_, he would wake up and discover that all of this had just been a bad dream.

Feeling his sitar leave him, and his very essence rapidly following after, the truth finally sank in.

_Tomorrow would never come._


	3. Death is the Road to Awe

Axel never thought much of life and death until he killed Vexen. He had been expecting to feel sick- hell, maybe even guilt. But he felt nothing. Nothing at all.

- - -

Watching the Organization grow did not interest him in the way it interested the others. Each new member looked the same. That dull, hungry look in their eyes. He could barely tell them apart from a rabid dog. They were often treated no better. Especially the musician boy. The poor thing was always bumbling about and getting in everyone's way. Axel felt sorry for him, or as sorry as he could get without a heart. Maybe that was why he first spoke with him. The fire mage doubted it, though. The reason he first greeted the boy was something very different.

The boy always smiled. Always. Never stopped. Even when the more senior members were being openly cruel. He just smiled and moved on, even played a song or two on that instrument of his. Axel wanted to know what made this boy tick. And why his eyes were so damned bright. Something separated him from the other members and by God! Axel would discover what it was.

"Hey," Axel greeted IX with what he hoped was a casual tone.

The boy turned, his vivid, aqua eyes peering up at the redhead.

"H-Hey…" A simple response with nothing to work with. Axel wanted to mentally kick the Nocturne.

Surprisingly, a very awkward, yet powerful friendship between two who had nothing besides themselves began that day. Two lost souls who clung to each other for warmth before the chill of a false existence.

- - -

He just arrived. The one who would fix their nonexistence. Their Key to Destiny. Axel didn't think much of him. Until he saw the child for himself. What he first noticed was his stance. His body language. Upright, tall, but with a weight upon him. The weight of twelve other souls, Axel assumed. Yet, as the child turned to regard him, all the fire mage's thoughts vanished. His eyes. His eyes. _Oh god,_ _his eyes._

Brilliant blue orbs of so much emotion, and yet, at the same time, a reflection of another. Axel's soul was pierced before the onslaught of such… Power.

"Hey," the child greeted, no emotion showing through, yet casual enough.

"H-Hey…" Axel responded, dumbfounded, no more words coming to him.

- - -

Something had gone wrong. Something had gone horribly wrong. It had tempted their Destiny away. Not only their chance to gain hearts, but also Axel's friend. The child had betrayed them all.

No, Roxas had not betrayed them. He had never been with them in the first place. That was not what was bothering Axel.

What bothered him was that Roxas had simply dropped off the face of the earth. Their Light was gone. Every world he went to, he wasn't there. He was beginning to lose hope. And that damned Kingdom Hearts just seemed to taunt him.

- - -

He had found Roxas. In some simulated backwater world of twilight. And Roxas _hadn't remembered him!_ It hurt. It hurt as much as one without a heart could hurt. He would _make_ him remember. Even if Roxas didn't want to. He _needed_ him to remember. If he didn't… If he didn't… No. The fire mage refused to think of what would happen if Roxas didn't remember him.

- - -

They had fought. Roxas' eyes were filled to the brim with blood lust. But the fight was over. Axel had lost. Roxas wouldn't come back. He'd find Sora and leave the fire mage forever.

"Axel…" The former-Organization member interrupted his thoughts. The redhead's ears were deceiving him. _Was that sorrow he heard in the boy's voice?_

Glancing up, he smiled woefully and responded, "Let's meet again in the next life." There was no way to stop him from rejoining his Other now.

Roxas' voice was hoarse with sadness. Even Axel could hear it.

"Yea… I'll be waiting…."

Surrounding himself in Darkness, Axel looked away and whispered, "Silly."

He paused. The fire mage wanted to look at Roxas. Just this one last time. But he was scared of what he would see. Did Roxas really remember him? Or was he just feeling sympathy to an incomplete stranger, searching for his friend. Shaking, he raised his eyes, to witness his once-Destiny, his hope, his chance of gaining a heart. What he saw startled him.

It was those eyes. Those eyes full of so much reflected emotion. The eyes he saw when he first met the boy. And there was understanding.

Axel continued on, mournful for everything he knew that would happen because of Roxas' actions, "Just because you have a next life…." Leaving the sentence to hang, not able to finish it, he let himself be consumed by the darkness.

- - -

He had just overheard that Demyx was being sent to bring the keyblade boy back by force. Axel would not let one of his friends fade into darkness. Not again.

Lucky, he had found the musician right as he was about to step through a portal.

"Demyx!" he called, desperate, "It's a suicide mission. You do know that, right?"

The water mage turned and gave Axel a goofy grin, "I wouldn't be so sure. All I have to do is defeat the keyblade master, right? Doesn't sound hard. He only beat me before because I was just playing around." He waved his hand in the air, blowing the whole thing off like it wasn't a big deal.

Horrified at the fact that IX wasn't taking him seriously, he grabbed his shoulders, begging him to understand with his eyes. Giving a small shake on each word for emphases, Axel nearly shouted, "You are going to _die_. Are you crazy?"

The Nocturne looked away, his eyes finding the ground more interesting than Axel's truth. After a few moments that seemed like years, the musician looked up. Axel cringed.

A woeful expression, filled with horrors only one such as them could ever experience, graced his face. He responded, his voice near shaking with sorrow, "Axel… I've been crazy since the day I died. This is my only chance… _Our_ only chance." He removed Axel's hands from his shoulders and backed away.

His mask returned, a goofy grin, lighting up the world of eternal night. Stepping back into the portal, his voice rang out his goodbye.

"Tomorrow, we'll have our hearts back for sure."

As Axel watched his last friend be consumed by the greedy darkness, he couldn't help but mourn for the death that was to come. The keyblade brat was going to pay dearly.

- - -

_Why?_ Why did he do it? Why did he give up his very essence to save the boy who he had sworn revenge on not too long ago? The boy who had taken Roxas away from him. Who had taken Demyx away from him. Who had taken the rest of the Organization away from him. The boy who had taken away the only chance to gain his heart back away from him.

The keyblade master looked at Axel's dying form in disbelief.

"You're… fading away," a melancholy air hung to his words. Roxas would never express anything like that. Axel didn't want to see his face. He wanted the keyblade boy to leave. To go save his little girlfriend. To gain his happy ending. He was too much like Roxas, and yet, distinctly not. Axel did not want to be reminded.

Instead, the boy simply asked, "Axel… what were you trying to do…?"

If the fire mage had had a heart, he would have sobbed. But for some reason or another, all he could do was tell the truth. Maybe to give the boy some knowledge of this nonexistent being who was fading before his eyes. Maybe even get in touch with _him_, though he doubted.

"I wanted to see Roxas…" Axel missed the recognition that passed across the boy's face.

"He… Was the only one I liked…," the Nobody couldn't stop his out pouring of words. His out cry against his doom. "He made me feel… Like I had a heart."

Axel was glad of his tattoos. They represented the tears he wanted to shed.

"It's kinda funny…," Axel admitted, looking into the boy's eyes. Whispering, knowing his time was nearing an end, he confessed, "You make me feel… The same…" He didn't need to continue on. In that moment, he saw him. He saw Roxas. Staring sadly down at his dying form. Roxas understood. Nothing more needed to be said. Axel smiled weakly and closed his eyes. He could accept fate now.

His journey was over. He finally was able to rest. And soon, Roxas would join him. His promise seemed like years ago.

The embodiment of fire vanished out of existence, leaving a simple fragment of power to help the keyblade boy _and_ Roxas on the rest of their journey.

- - -

It was dark.

He felt heavy. He felt terrified. _He felt._

But after all that had happened, he was curious.

_Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum._

What was that noise?

He opened his eyes and smiled.

It was astonishing.


End file.
